It takes getting everything you ever wanted And then losing it, to know what true freedom is. It is our innermost basic human instinct to want to hold on to what we value most. Many of our root motives are fear based, and set-up to disguise out true needs. For example, in our fear of being lonely we get into a relationship, we believe we want the relationship, but in truth we just fear being alone. When we lose the relationship, job, or status that we believe we wanted, we begin to see that we can live without these attachments, and this can bring great feelings of relief. In losing it all that we want, we find that the reason why we wanted it all to begin with was fear, not love.